The Plays
Queens Boulevard [sample]
by Charles L. Mee
Vijay steps into the room,
stops, turns.
The detective steps in behind him.]
DETECTIVE [gesturing toward the kitchen table]
Sit there.
VIJAY
Officer, you know,
I don't understand how this could have happened.
DETECTIVE
Is that right?
VIJAY
I don't even know what the charges are.
DETECTIVE
You don't.
OK.
Never mind that.
Let's just start with where you were picked up.
VIJAY
At the Skylla and Kharybdis.
DETECTIVE
Which is what?
VIJAY
A nightclub in Astoria.
DETECTIVE
And you told the arresting officer you were doing what?
VIJAY
Well, the point is,
I went out of the house today
to get a flower for my wife.
DETECTIVE
To get a flower for your wife.
VIJAY
Right.
DETECTIVE
You went to the Skylla and Kharybdis
looking for a flower.
VIJAY
I was with a friend.
DETECTIVE
Right. And you were looking for a flower?
VIJAY
My friend said he knew someone there
who would know where to get the flower.
DETECTIVE
Unh-hunh.
Because there were people there
who knew where to get things?
VIJAY
I guess so.
DETECTIVE
And you had been where else?
VIJAY
To the Lotus Eaters?
That's another nightclub in Astoria.
DETECTIVE
Unh-hunh.
Because there were people there
who knew where to get things?
VIJAY
I'm sorry?
DETECTIVE [shuffling through papers]
What else did they know how to get?
Would they know where to get
a home address?
VIJAY
I don't know what that is.
DETECTIVE
You don't know what a home address is?
VIJAY
Sure. I mean, I don't know what you mean.
DETECTIVE
Well, you were in the hospital earlier?
VIJAY
Right.
DETECTIVE
And would that be where there would be patients' records
with their home addresses and their birthdates?
VIJAY
I guess so.
DETECTIVE
And these could be used to get a driver's license?
VIJAY
I'm sorry?
DETECTIVE
And a driver's license could be used
to acquire additional identity papers?
VIJAY
I don't know.
DETECTIVE
And this would be a way to move people
across borders?
VIJAY
I'm sorry?
DETECTIVE
This would be a way to move people
across borders?
Immigrants? Or other people?
VIJAY
I think that would be unethical.
DETECTIVE
What I heard was:
"Ethics are for people who don't want something."
VIJAY
I don't know about that.
DETECTIVE
It seems you don't know about anything.
VIJAY
I know you think it seems bizarre
going from nightclub to nightclub to find a flower
but life itself is strange
not everything fits in to some rational model
of cause-effect cause-effect
and you think you see the relevant bits
but sometimes you don't at all
and I was just trying to do something that would please my wife
because I love her
I just love her
and I miss her
and I'd like to find this flower and take it home to her
we went to Skylla and Kharybdis
and the Lotus Eaters
and maybe that seems peculiar to you
I mean we also went to Calypso's Island
and then we had to pick up this guy from the ground
and call an ambulance
because he fell off the roof at Circe's
and Shakti said we couldn't just leave him there to die
and I agreed
I agreed
because there are things in life you have to take care of
whether it's convenient or not
whether you have something else you're trying to get done
you have some responsibilities as a human being
you can't leave a guy bleeding on the ground
probably you didn't even know
there's a historic house in Astoria
whoever it was,
one of the founding fathers who signed the Declaration
and it used to be his country house
and it still has some acres of grass around it
and a herd of cattle
and we got caught in there and had to run for it
we had to swim across the lake
I never would have found my way back to Queens Boulevard
if Shakti hadn't been with me
this is the kind of time I've had
so maybe I seem a little disoriented to you
but probably you see people like this all the time
in the city
this is how it is sometimes
just getting through the day
for anyone.
[silence]
DETECTIVE
I'm just going to lock you up now
let you cool off
and think about what you've done
then maybe we can talk again.
VIJAY
You're going to lock me up?
DETECTIVE
That's right.
VIJAY
In jail?
DETECTIVE
In jail.
[We hear
track 5 of the Singing Bowls of Tibet,
the Bon-Po Chant
and the criminals come in from all sides,
bringing their cell bars with them
until they have surrounded Vijay in jail,
and the Detective has gone.
CRIMINAL 1
What's your name?
