The Plays
Fire Island [sample]
by Charles L. Mee
[she picks up a magazine,
turns some pages to the back of the magazine
and reads]
Very Pretty, Stylish, Gay White Female-40-something
seeking pretty, white, sweet, intelligent,
feminine wife, 35–45
I am a hopeless romantic
very fit, socially outgoing,
yet shy at other times.
I am mentally strong
yet emotionally tender.
I wear dresses/high heels by day
and jeans/sneakers at night.
I love excitement and spontaneity
yet balance and security.
I am financially stable and I do not look gay—
neither should you.
I am looking for a woman capable of emotional intimacy
and committed to a partnershipe—
and not just after 5 PM.
I have flexible working hours
and believe weekdays were made for play, not just work.
If you have worked on your relationship skills
and you are what I am looking for,
be prepared to meet a woman
with a generous heart, quick mind, good sense of humor
and lots of integrity.
[she looks up from the magazine,
thinks for a moment
and then says]
I could do that.
[she returns to the magazine
and reads]
Distinguished-Looking, Successful Man—
Company president, grey hair, tall,
sense of humor.
Two residences. Variety of interests
including music, horses, sailing, etc.
and just "hanging out."
Interested in meeting woman in her 30s or early 40s,
to share good times and friendship.
[she looks up from the magazine,
thinks for a moment
and then says]
I could do that.
[she returns to the magazine
and reads]
Warm, Loving, Happy
Accomplished Professional—
very youthful, active, 55
fit, fun, full of life and love
bright, kind, sensitive,
communicative and involved,
seeks fine-valued, accomplished soul mate
to share love, laughter, family, and friends.
[she looks up from the magazine,
thinks for a moment
and then says]
I could do that.
