The Plays
Day (Daphnis and Chloe 2.0) [sample]
by Charles L. Mee
a guy in a big overcoat to his ankles smoking a cigarette walks through
an old woman with a cane walks through
a guy comes out of the mobile home
carrying a gas can
he sits in a chair, smoking a cigarette,
holding a book with his finger holding his place
and he starts the following exchange of remarks
and everyone joins the conversation:
THE GUY WITH THE GAS CAN
We just started dating a few days ago
But I'm already in love with you.
If you felt half of what I feel for you for me,
I'd die happy.
A GIRL
i don't know if i can get into my college now.
i didn't look at the website in time, and now i'm screwed.
i don't know what i'll do.
i'm so embarrassed.
i don't know if this can be saved.
i'm thinking not.
i'm so screwed.
ANOTHER GUY
i work at mcdonalds and steal so much money,
just by neglecting to ring up orders or parts of orders.
i dont feel bad, at all.
i regret that i didnt start doing this sooner.
we're getting cameras next week.
i want a new job.
ANOTHER GIRL
i fail at everything i try to accomplish.
school,
losing weight,
making friends,
keeping a job.
sometimes i really wish i would've gone through with suicide when i was ten, instead of chickening out.
A WOMAN
i love him and
i will never be able to tell him because
i'm too scared it's going to ruin how well things are going.
ANOTHER WOMAN
i pretend to take my birth control every day.
i hide it under my tongue and take it out when hes not looking.
i'm so blessed to be pregnant –
he doesnt know yet.
A GUY
I put my penis in a Goldfish's bowl once.
ANOTHER GUY
My old girlfriend from college used to fart when ever she felt like it.
Even if we were in public, she'd just let one rip and not give a damn.
She was kind of a tomboy,
but only in her actions.
Anyway,
this one time when we were having sex
she farted so loud that she pooped on the bed sheets.
She was so embarrassed and ending up crying...
but the reason why she cried wasn't because she pooped on the sheets,
it was because I couldn't stop laughing at her.
In fact, I laughed to the point where I started to fart like a machine gun.
I couldn't stop myself.
So, in the end, she broke up with me
because she felt I wasn't "mature" enough to handle her "mature" farts.
A WOMAN
I think I really hate my husband
and I dream of having an affair with someone,
anyone I don't care who it is.
I'm just really bored with him and I can't stand looking at him anymore.
A GUY
I'm just not physically attracted to her.
I'm only doing it so I can get a job at her dad's law firm.
A GIRL
He's getting married and I don't give a shit.
ANOTHER GIRL
sometimes I hate my best friend
because I'm afraid that my boyfriend will start liking her instead of me.
ANOTHER GIRL
i pop too many pills my boyfriend says.
he confiscated a bottle, but i have others.
I take more then he knows behind his back.
it was already a huge trust issue when he found out
i had been taking one drug behind his back,
if he were to now discover that i've continued doing this
with not one but several drugs, he may never trust me again.
and he loves me so much it would distroy him.
why am i doing this?
am i trying to sabotage my relationship?
that can't be,
i love him more than my own life and i can't imagine a life without him.
i know we'd both contemplate suicide if we were to break up,
and worse,
i'm his first real love,
he's never had a serious relationship before me.
i don't know how he'd handle it if it did end.
that's one of my worst fears, hurting him. and i have been recently.
things were so rough yesterday, this has never happened to us in 2 years.
so why can't i stop lying to him?
i'm a deceitful, manipulative, and undeserveing little cunt.
he's this best thing that's ever happened to me,
why am i throwing a wrench into a beautifully functioning machine?
god i need to get a grip on myself.
i can see disappointment and sadness in his eyes sometimes now.
it's killing me
i don't think i love him anymore.
A GIRL
I want to go through a lesbian phase in college...
I want to be able to turn my husband on years later by telling him about it.
ANOTHER GIRL
every night before bed i pray that i will wake up and be 18 again
and have the chance to make different choices
and not fuck up my life as i have.
i have been so careless.
ANOTHER GIRL
Crap, they're so skinny and perfect with great hair
and amazing clothes
and spunky personalities.
Why can't I be someone else?
A GUY
I think i'd fuck anything with tits.
A GIRL
I'm so lonely it makes me sick.
It's not like I don't try to socialize.
I really try but somehow i just feel like i'm not good enough
and it's not right.
I know i'm not a bad person.
I just want someone to tell me that i'm not.
Please I want to feel connect to anyone.
I hate this place i'm at.
A GUY
i told her i loved her
and she just looked at me.
a woman comes out and puts down a bowl of Cezanne still-life fruit
for no good reason
amidst a group of three other women
and then she sits down with them
a guy with easel and canvas paints the women
a baby carriage
is just left in the middle of the stage
or next to a seated woman
or whatever
a woman in a floor length white diaphanous gown
dances in the woods
